First Post Anxiety

I feel like I should be writing something insightful, daring and witty here that will grab your attention like the icy seep of cold seawater into your swimmers at the beach. It’s harsh and jarring, yet compelling- I mean, in for a penny, in for a pound eh? Your gonads have already retreated to somewhere behind your eyes so why not immerse yourself and see just how much you can take?

With that succinct and entirely confusing segue out of the way, I’d like to welcome you to GIANT ANTS ATE MY HOMEWORK, my first blog and my claim on the information age. Having avoided Twittering to the best of my ability (and as such missing out on serious media coverage Dammit!), I’ve decided to use my mutant powers to entertain and incite thoughtful exchange, soaring imaginations and potential hate mail and self-humiliation through a blog instead.
Anyway, I didn't have much time, or, let's face it, motivation, today- but I did a self portrait to help ease you into my world. KY would have been quicker, but messier. This is me:

I know what you’re thinking right?

 And you’d be correct.
As far as introductions go, it’s not as good as when ninjas fell out of the sky to Earth and were promptly introduced to the awesomeness of Seppuku for the first time, but it comes close!
I hope you tune in again, I'll be updating regularly. To be honest its a relief to have somewhere to expunge all the little atoms of borderline-insane babble that come out of my mouth. Somehow telling the cat doesn't really feel fulfilling.

 Peace out!